Daaang amazing....  i have begun my workout.  i work out for about an hour everyday, and... after seven days, my packs are back, and crazy... i dont wanna brag, so i'll just end it here.  but i still have a long way to go. 

just trying to find my life again.  its not the end of the world.  i'll move on.  it hurts very deeply, but... hoping for the best.

God, just lead me to you, and don't let me astray from you this time.  help me to fully devote myself to your work and to your will.  I'm all yours. 

Everything just hapened so fast yesterday that i didnt get a chance to digest them.  i'm a free man as of today.  my gf and i broke up.  not in a bad way, but it's just... wierd. 

whenever i prayed about marriage with her, i felt God saying wait.  When i prayed about the dating relationship, i felt no recently, and there were signs too.   i'm not sure about her, but on my part, the message came to me clearly.  i feel that it's not time for me to date now.  it's time for me to step out and reflect deeply about the past year.  And its better to remain friend for now, and in the meantime, build up my character, my pride, and most importantly, i need to restore my relationship with my savior and let Him do the work. i need to depend on Him and Him alone. 

hmmm... i have to focus on myself now and "start over".  it'll be tough, but i have been through tough times before and this is just a nother times where God is training me for something better. 

i have lost a lot of faith since being with boram, but it's time to gain them back.  my hope is that i'll be able to put everything aside and focus on His work and He will open doors for me after school is over.  And, wherever He leads i'll go.  And well, with  boram... do as You will, Lord. 

new start!!!

i know it's been new year since what... 9 days ago.  but this is the start of new year for me.   about my last brief entry... noooo i do not need a new gf, but we did split... yesterday.  is that the right word????  or ummmm.. its' more like we are on a break, because of situations and personal things.  We have decided to take two to three months off and really, truly seek after what God wants from us.  it's been 14, 15 months and i really had a tme of my life, but in the end, if we don't do His will, there is a consequence to pay.  Boram was, is, and will always be my true first love, and i do hope we get back together.  but if it's not His will.... well, what can i do????   HE is the  potter and i'm just a clay.  HE is my master, and i 'm just His slave.  Gotta obey without any complaint. 

Both of us feel that we need to deepen our relationship with God, and to put Him as our priority.  i feel that i have done more than all that i can as a human, but i didn't let God do His part.  i am limited, but He isn't.  i feel like i have reached a dead end.  And now it's time to see what God will do and how He'll lead us. 

On one hand... i'm scared and very very lonely.  But on the other is a glimspe of faith and hope.  Faith in God that He'll do what's BEST for His glory.   i just pray that my true joy becomes His will, and not my own. And that our submission becomes His glory, honor, and praise.  Amen.  Peace out yo!!!!